Divorce and its impact on children by Amber Martin, Contributing writer   Over one million children a year experience their parents' divorce. One out of two marriages end in divorce. With these startling statistics on divorce many questions may come to mind. One that will effect the future of this country and the future generations is what impact does divorce have on children. Judith Wallerstein, a psychologist and world-renowned researcher on divorce, along with Sandra Blakeslee conducted a study in 1989 called Second Changes. This study stated that the negative impact of divorce on children was greater and lasted longer than anyone previously suspected. Kathy Rhoades, a 15-year-old northern Nevadan whose parents divorced when she was 5, said divorce still effects her. "I don't really trust anyone," she said. "I'm afraid they'll run off like mom did." Statistics have shown that visitation disputes occur in 44 percent of families undergoing divorces with children 5 years old or younger. That leaves a large percentage of children in a tug-of-war between parents. On top of the tug-of-war, children experience other problems. Wallerstein writes that 30 to 40 percent of children from divorces show diagnosable psychological problems. That is three times higher than children whose parents do not divorce. Rhoades and Kerry Dyer, a 15-year-old whose parents divorced when she was 6, express similar feelings of guilt and anxiety over their parents' divorces. "What exactly happened? Was it my fault?" Rhoades asks herself. Dyer said she wishes her parents were together and felt like it was all her fault. These questions appeared frequently among teens questioned about their parents' divorce. If a child knew it was not their fault, he or she still wondered what they could have done to prevent their parents from getting divorced. "Divorce is typically the worst thing in a kid's life," said Dale Loftis, a licensed family and marriage therapist at AGAPE Psychology in Reno. "Kids are brainwashed into thinking that divorce isn't going to affect them. In reality the loss, anger, being in a strange house and abandonment make it the most severe event, more so than death, physical or sexual abuse." Julie Lewis, a professor at San Francisco State University, gives a similar opinion to Loftis'. "Divorce is a cumulative experience for the child. Its impact increases over time," Lewis wrote in a research study. Angela Benavides, a 19-year-old whose father divorced five times, has a perspective on how the impact of the divorce increases. "It is hard. No matter who or when, my dad would always expect his new girlfriend to be my mom. We were supposed to be an instant family," Benavides said. When her father remarried, Benavides said she was always made to feel like the other kid, always taking second place. "Children deserve two parents," Loftis said. A family is affected by the economic condition, social class, ethnicity and the divorce. In turn all of these aspects affect a child's growth into an adult. Divorce can have a major impact on a child's life into adulthood.     copyright May 1998 Nevada Outpost http://www.jour.unr.edu/outpost