by Darcy Gibson, Contributing writer An individual may not receive a tattoo or body piercing while under the influence, but the courthouse will issue a marriage license. Why is this so? Both are life altering decisions, yet there are signs all over tattoo parlors reminding customers of this fact, still several chapels admit they have married couples who don't even remember being wed the night before. "Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity." -Bernard Shaw I volunteered to marry Paul Enos after learning the Journalism 201 class was covering the topic of wedding chapels in the Reno area. I have known Paul for over 13 years and our families are good friends spending every July 4th together. Though I never thought I would tie the knot with him, I figured what better way to understand a wedding than to actually get married. First and foremost, we did not sign any legal documents! We intended to, but realized we would have to go through an annulment with a lawyer and decided a mock ceremony would suffice. We had two weeks to plan a ceremony. All of our research was conducted under the pretense that Paul and I were a couple getting married soon, with the exception of the chapel. After much research comparing prices and facilities, we found a quaint little chapel on First Street along side the Truckee River. White Lace and Promises Wedding Chapel offered a reasonable rate and could accommodate the class. Paul and I visited Marsha Ketaner, owner and manager of the Chapel, the Monday before the wedding. She explained to us what the ceremony would entail and gave us a bit of insight on the seriousness of the event we were about to participate in. She then told us she would perform the ceremony free of charge, being it was a class project. I learned a great deal from the experience. Most interesting was how easy it really is to be married and divorced in Reno. For me the experience was fun and educational. I learned there is a lot of preparation and time in planning a marriage,information I will someday find very useful, I hope! Shopping for Rings The wearing of the wedding ring is a time-honored tradition symbolizing the vows of eternal love. Being a constant circle, it has neither beginning nor an end. Dating back many centuries, the history of the ring is less romantic. Historically a wedding ring resembled the exchange for something of value for ownership of the bride. The ancient Egyptians believed that the ring was worn by the wife as a constant reminder of her husband's trust that his wife would not flee with his wealth. Still, fervent superstition encloses the ring. Wisdom of Folk days suggests never to purchase it on Friday, never to let anyone handle it and to never drop it during the ceremony. The wedding ring is worn on the fourth finger of the left hand and never to be removed. This was adapted from an ancient Roman faith that a nerve connected that finger straight to the heart. Science proves that this connection is a vein named the vena amoris or vein of love. The search for the perfect ring began at Macy's solely because I have a friend who could get me a 30% off discount. Naturally I wanted platinum and a rather large diamond. I found "my" ring in the estate jewelry case, but unfortunately Paul's income couldn't cover it even with 30% off. It was 1.96 solitaire diamond with 14-carat white gold wearing a price tag that read $15,870. Needless to say we did not purchase this ring. We also tried Helzberg Diamonds, but only found bands as low as $200, still out of our price range. We needed a different sort of wedding ring, something romantic and sincere, we found our ideal ring at Wal-Mart. Standing in line behind the children in the corridor, Paul and I waited with a pocket full of quarters. Our rings were of the finest aluminum around, and mine with a pink alien head and his black, we named them Zuetron and Elektora and were quite content with our bargains. The Dress Experience "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, with a silver sixpence in her shoe." This simple rhyme is probably the most established of superstitions dating back to the 1300s. A bride was told never to walk down the aisle without all of these elements. In 1499 Anne of Brittany made popular the White Wedding Dress, prior to that a woman just wore her best dress. Interestingly enough, the fact that the dress be white has never been any reflection of the "purity" of the bride-to-be, nor accorded as a symbol of chastity, but instead joy. Paul and I began the mad search for a wedding dress at Formals in Old Town Mall two days before the wedding. Paul and I entered the shop without any clue as to prices of gowns, styles, or sizes. A young girl named Vanessa, who seemed willing to put up with us for an hour or so greeted us. Paul was in his prime for this experience. He began to inquire of the high and low blue book of bridal gowns. Formals' least expensive dress was $199 and the highest totaled $1,200. Vanessa explained to us that the satin's quality and weight determine the price of a gown. Paul immediately asked, "where is your cheapest dress?" The salesgirls all turned and looked at me in disgust, and I was mortified. Vanessa then led us to a rack in the front of the store that screamed CLEARANCE in blood-red letters. Paul haggled over a dress priced at $79, while I busied myself with the heavy satin. The most expensive dress in Formals was simple and elegant. It was not ornately decorated with sequins and pearls but hung straight and was cut generously. Being a stereotypical female, I wanted to try on these gowns, however I could not find my size. Vanessa explained that most bridal gowns in most shops range from sizes 6 to 10, then from there the bride chooses the size to best suit her and the dress is ordered. This is when she asked the ever-famous question, "When is the wedding?" I looked at Paul he looked at me and blurted out two weeks from Wednesday. The women in the shop were distraught. They all left what they were doing and surrounded us. You need a dress. Have you ordered a tux? What about a cake? Or flowers? It was hysterical and Paul loved every moment of it. I just laughed. By this point they were all very helpful. I continued to look at bride things while Paul proceeded to ask "what size was the fattest lady you have ever put in a wedding dress?" I tried on veils starting as low as $50 and up to $150. Paul insisted I wear a hat, but I refused. We received plenty of information and literature about bridal garb when we decided we should leave soon before Paul was escorted out of the mall. Formals offered any assistance if necessary and we left the shop giggling while they no doubt grunted that Paul and I were the stupidest couple in the wedding world. I was extremely amused by this experience. Floral and Bakery The first wedding cake resembled a thin loaf. Later the early Romans created the custom of breaking the cake over the bride and groom's head as a symbol of fruitfulness, fertility and good fortune. After the initial breaking the guests would scramble to the floor for a piece of cake to secure themselves a bit of good luck. Later introduced by the British and the French, a tiered cake represents prosperity. Another historical tradition introduced in Anglo Saxon times was the guests bringing small white cakes to the wedding piling them into a mass, where the wedding couple would try to kiss over them. Another important prop in the wedding ceremony is the bride's bouquet. The original wedding bouquets were made of strong herbs such as thyme and garlic to protect the bride from evil spirits. Today the bride's bouquet consists of a variety of flowers each with a different meaning and to be held just below the bride's waist as a sign of fertility. Once the major issues had been dealt with such as the dress and rings, we began to explore the more minor details like flowers and cakes. I decided if I had the budget, I would want a rather large bouquet of 20 white roses with hanging satin ribbons. I chose three florists at random and called each with the same request. Moana Nursery quoted me $125, Sparks Florist at $120, and Scolari's $79. I conducted the same experiment to compare cake prices. I was looking for a three-tiered cake to feed around 50 guests and Larry Baden, one of my journalism professors. I called Scolari's first, due to the fact that they had the best-priced flower bouquet. The woman I talked to said a three-tiered cake to feed 43-51 persons would cost $79 plus tax. Next, I stopped by Odettes on South Virginia Street and they quoted $85 for a cake to feed 53. Finally I remember my manager at work telling me that Costco made delicious cakes at a good price. That price totaled $80 for 62 guests. Marriage Counselor "Marriage is a wonderful invention, but, then again, so is a bicycle repair kit." -Duncan Campbell This was a most unique experience and one of my favorites. Paul and I decided to speak to a marriage counselor and chose Madame Amy, the most spiritual of psychics. We entered Amy's home as she led us down the hall to a back bedroom. I had only one thought come to mind as I walked into that room, contradiction! The room was cluttered with holy paraphernalia. A statue of the Virgin Mary stood in each corner framing a large poster of Jesus, while we were about to have our palms read. She left Paul and I alone in the room and we could not help laughing as I regretted leaving my camera in the car. She returned shortly and asked me to make two wishes and to tell her one aloud. I told her I wished for complete happiness all my life and held the other wish inside. She studied my right hand carefully and told me I would live through 90 years and four months. She told me some interesting details about myself that were fairly accurate. Such as my sudden, yet quick to dissolve temper and my comfort in stability. Then she said my other wish was coming true. As for Paul and my marriage, she said that we would be happy and not to believe it when I hear someday, from the mouth of a close relative, that Paul has cheated on me, because it will be a rumor. Well, considering that my other wish was about another man, you could say Madame Amy was close enough. The Ceremony Paul was almost jilted at the altar as I peacefully slept in late. Fortunately a fellow student called to wake me and I threw curlers in my hair and sped to the chapel waving to all of our guests as I rushed in with my gown hanging over one arm. The guests filed in while my bridesmaid/roommate, Meghan, and I threw our dresses on. When we were ready and the congregation was seated, the processional began playing. Meghan walked the aisle first, followed by Professor Paul Mitchell, who gave me away, and myself. I wore a white wedding dress borrowed from a friend and a bouquet of silk flowers in my hands. I could not hold a straight face; I found the entire scenario hysterical. Reverend Marsha Ketaner performed a beautiful ceremony including a unity candle to represent husband and wife as one, yet still individuals. After the announcement that Paul and I were now husband and wife, we posed for photographs taken by my dearest Parisian friend Sharon Zenz. We thanked Marsha profusely for help and dedication to making this one of the most "memorable" and interesting experiences of our lives. Then it was off to the Little Waldorf Saloon for the reception. All in all this was a great experience however, marriage is one of the most sacred of vows and not to be taken lightly. I realized this from my grandmother, who called me on Easter Sunday, accusing me of making a mockery of marriage. I disagree, but do see her point. Paul and I are not dating and will not marry. We participated in an assignment which the entire class benefited from. We did not sign any legal documents, nor did we say "I do." We pretended. Still our families have their reservations and that is to be expected. "True" marriage is the union of two souls in the sight of family, friends and God, if you will. It is a beautiful experience when it is real. "Marriage is the perfection which love aimed at, ignorant of what it sought." - Ralph Waldo Emerson. Copyright May 1998 Nevada Outpost http://www.jour.unr.edu/outpost Return to wedding home  Paul's Story